


Less I know, the better

by laheysmythes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Not What It Looks Like, Theo's that friend that you can call at 3am to hide the body, literally don't know how else to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laheysmythes/pseuds/laheysmythes
Summary: Theo didn’t know what to expect out of this conversation, he couldn’t possibly understand why Liam would need him, out of all people, at this hour. But nothing would’ve prepared him to hear the next words coming out of Liam’s mouth.“Theo… I need your help to hide a body.”





	Less I know, the better

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Meno so, meglio è](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12690087) by [Ili91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ili91/pseuds/Ili91)



> Picture both Liam and Theo as panicked as they were in the car scene with the keys in 6x09.

Theo was woken up all of a sudden because he felt his phone ringing in his pocket. He woke up so abruptly he ended up bumping his head against the roof of his truck, being a little disoriented because it was still night, his werewolf abilities hadn’t helped at all.

He reached for his phone in his pocket and frowned when he saw both the time and the caller. Liam seemed to be calling him at 2:04am ? Why on earth would he be calling?

“Hello?” Theo answered, his voice raspy from not talking.

Theo didn’t know what to expect out of this conversation, he couldn’t possibly understand why Liam would need  _ him, _ out of all people, at this hour. But nothing would’ve prepared him to hear the next words coming out of Liam’s mouth.

“Theo… I need your help to hide a body.”

\---

Theo had choked on air when he heard what Liam had said, because never  _ ever _ in his life he thought this would be a thing. Yes, Liam had some control issues, but it wasn’t  _ that _ bad as to kill someone, right?

Apparently it had been, and Theo felt somewhat responsible for leaving Liam alone after all, even though he wasn’t his responsibility.

“You  _ what? _ ” Theo asked in shock. “Liam  _ what did you do?! _ ”

“I-I panicked! I wolfed out and when I least expected it I-” Liam started stuttering trying to explain the situation, his voice was full with anxiety. Theo cut him off before he could start explaining any details.

“Where are you?” Theo asked, taking off his blanket and moving to the driver’s seat to start up the truck. 

“I’m at the boys’ locker room, at the school,” Liam said.  _ Of course it had to be the goddamn school. _

“Don’t do anything, I’m on my way,” Theo hung up and reversed his truck a little bit too abruptly out of the parking lot where he had parked to sleep in.

Theo’s hands were sort of shaking, it had gotten cold all out of a sudden. Multiple scenarios started running through Theo’s head to try and find a reason on why this happened. Was it a hunter trying to attack Liam so he acted in self defense? Was it someone who had happened to be caught in the crossfire of Liam’s rage and they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Also, what the fuck was Liam doing at school at 2am? Had he been there all this time or had he done the…  _ thing _ somewhere else and had just dragged the body to the locker room?

All these questions were running through Theo’s head, making his head spin. He managed to get to the school unscathed, no damages to himself or his truck, and made his way to the entrance. His first instinct was to check the corridors in case there was any blood, and thankfully there wasn’t.

He arrived to the locker room and slammed the door open, seeing a very panicked Liam with his hair disheveled, his shirt was slightly covered with a few stains of blood.  _ Fuck. _

“I leave you alone for one goddamn day and this happens!” Theo scolded Liam, bringing his hand to cover his mouth after he saw that Liam had winced at his words.

“I-I didn’t mean to, I just got  _ so angry _ and when I least thought I had-” Liam stopped and imitated the motion of his hands ripping something with the claws. 

“Why did you call me?!” Theo continued to ask questions, because really this was Liam’s problem, not his. Why did he have to pay for someone else’s mistakes when he had not been, for once, at fault here? But who was he kidding, he would have helped Liam either way, he was already  _ there _ , wasn’t that proof enough?

“Because when we were with Gabe that day in this locker room you started talking about hiding a body with shovels and shit, and you said you were the expert!” Liam said, his tone still high and panicking.

Oh shit, yes he had said that. He had said it, but he hadn’t meant it really? He  _ knew _ Liam was going to back down, he just needed a little incentive so he would see that it was  _ wrong  _ and that way he wouldn’t do it. He didn’t mean to give him future incentive to  _ actually _ do it, and it hadn’t meant that Theo would be there to help him cover it up whenever he did.

“So where is it Liam?” Theo resigned himself to the fact that apparently this was happening for real.

Liam walked to where the lockers were and came back with two large black duffel bags. He had been struggling to carry them both and he dumped them with a  _ thud _ to the floor. Theo analyzed the bags, and they weren’t large enough to carry a body, which only meant that…

_ Oh, this keeps getting worse. _ Theo panicked internally, not letting it show, but this was just  _ wrong _ . Sure, he had killed people before,  _ his sister _ for crying out loud, but this somehow seemed more fucked up. He wanted to throw up.

“Don’t even open them,” Theo shook his head, still covering his mouth with his hand to stop himself from throwing up right there and then. Hell had made him averse to all of this, it seemed. 

“Can we get rid of this,  _ please? _ The faster, the better,” Liam seemed in a hurry to get out of there, and Theo wondered how Liam was still able to live with himself, considering how the boy normally was. Suddenly, as if to make things worse, memories of Liam fighting Scott back then when Theo had tricked him into killing the alpha came back rushing through his mind, and he shuddered, not wanting to remember any of it.

“Were there any witnesses?” Theo asked to change the topic, and he was silently hoping that the answer would be a no.

“Yes, but I took care of it,” Liam said, his face unreadable. Theo motioned with his hands for Liam to keep talking but Liam just copied the same gestures in response.

“Took care of it how?” Theo was afraid to ask.

“I-uh…” Liam started then looked down at the blood on his shirt. “Let’s just say that they’re not gonna talk about this.”

_ Fuck. _ Theo could already picture him and Liam wearing orange jumpsuits and sharing a shitty bunk bed for the rest of their lives in a squared, cold room with rusty metal bars as doors when they get discovered. And Theo was so sure they were gonna get discovered because while Liam had the best intentions  _ most of the time _ , his plans were always a mess. That’s why Theo was strategy and Liam was action.

“Jesus, Liam,” Theo slid a hand through his own hair to get it out of his face. He felt like he was going to go bald with all the stress this situation was giving him.

Theo didn’t dare question anything else, because the less he knew, the better at this point. He grabbed one of the bags and grunted when he realized it was heavy indeed. _Probably one body per bag. In pieces._ _Pieces of a body._

They both managed to make it to Theo’s truck, putting both bags in the trunk of his truck. Liam left, running inside the school again to get some supplies apparently. He came back with two shovels and a flashlight, and he dropped them in the trunk as well. Theo winced as the shovels made contact with the metal of the truck.

They got inside of the truck, Theo was driving at the speed limit to not get pulled over, but also he didn’t want to go too slow because of the gravity of the situation.

The first thing Liam did when they were inside the truck was to pull out his wallet, counting the few bills and change he had in it.

“How much money do you have?” Liam suddenly asked and Theo turned around with an even more panicked expression. 

Was he really out here thinking to flee town, right there and then? Shit, that was cold.

“What makes you think I have any money? I live in my truck!” Theo said, his voice getting a bit high at the implications.

They both would have to leave town. Probably as soon as possible. They’d probably be living in Theo’s truck, sleeping on the backseat together like a pack of sardines, living off of shitty meals. They’d probably have to change their names even. At least he’d get rid of ‘Theodore’ once and for all.

Matt. He’d change his name to Matt, and Liam… Liam looked like he’d be called Tony. Yeah, definitely. Matt and Tony, two homeless teenagers who were skipping town. Seemed decent enough to Theo.

He snapped out of his thoughts when a phone ringed and Liam let out a high-pitched yelp, dropping the phone on the floor of the truck. The caller ID said that Mason was calling. 

“Oh God, Mason, no, he can’t know,” Liam put both his hands on the side of his face, fear and panic setting in. 

Yes, what would Mason even say.  _ Scott. _ What would Scott even say if he knew. Theo was damn sure if Scott knew, he’d blame Theo for being a bad influence on Liam, and he was probably right, but still didn’t make it less easy.

Theo felt like he couldn’t breathe as each minute passed. Why had he agreed to help Liam bury a body in the woods for crying out loud? He was feeling so guilty already and he hadn’t even killed it.

The phone rang again and Liam looked like he was about to break down in  _ tears. _ He wasn’t going to answer it, and each  _ ring _ drilled into Theo’s head, making him more stressed within the second, so the next thing he did was take the phone, rolled down his car window and threw the phone out.

“What did you  _ do! _ ” Liam cried out for his phone.

“You weren’t gonna need it anymore, trust me,” Theo said, fixing Liam with a glare and then returning to look at the road. They were so close to the woods, so close.

“Of course I’m gonna need it, it’s my phone!” Liam said and stubbornly crossed his arms. God, it’s like he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

They arrived at the woods, and Theo parked in a place nearby that wasn’t seen at first sight. He checked that no more witnesses were around, he didn’t need Liam off-ing more people today, not on his watch.

Then it hit him. Next time Liam wolfed out his eyes would be blue. That bright blue that looked straight out of a highlighter. Not the innocent golden that all werewolves had. A part of him wasn’t ready, he didn’t want to. Shit, he would trade his scientifically-fixed golden werewolf eyes if it meant that Liam wouldn’t look back at him with damn blue guilty eyes.

He tried to get the thought out of his mind- because  _ shit _ when did he begin to care so much  about Liam? - and grabbed a shovel with one hand and a bag with the other, Liam doing the same, wrapping the cord of the flashlight around his wrist for easier carrying.

They walked for a few minutes, trying to get as deep in the woods as they could manage with all the weight from the bags. After Theo deemed it as a decent distance so it wouldn’t be found, he dropped the bag to the ground, gasping for air after he put it down.

Liam was going to go sit on the ground, clearly exhausted when Theo stopped him in his tracks.

“What are you doing? It’s almost three and a half, sun will be up in a couple hours, we need to start digging,” Theo took both shovels and threw one at Liam. He was going to be damned if Liam just dropped the rest of the work on him.

And so they did. They dug deeper and deeper into the ground, making two big holes where they would be able to drop the bags and then put all the dirt back again, hoping that no one would come walking around the woods for a while. They had been doing it on silence, both boys were focused on getting the task at hand done as quickly as possible.

“Don’t you think it would be easier to just bury each piece in a different place? So that way they wouldn’t find it,” Liam suddenly spoke after a while and Theo’s eyes widened. Who was this impostor and what had he done with the original Liam Dunbar?

Theo inserted his shovel into the ground, leaning in for support. “Liam, do you  _ hear _ what you’re  _ saying _ ?”

“Who am I kidding, it would never decompose either way,” Liam said, thoughtful. “Maybe we should just throw it all in acid.”

There was a line on what Theo would do and wouldn’t do, and this had just crossed it. 

“What the fuck, Liam?” Theo yelled. “What kind of dark shit are you watching, after you chop  _ this _ to pieces, you just wanna throw it in acid like it’s nothing?!”

“It would erase all traces, that’s all I’m saying! Mason will never have to find out that I did  _ this! _ ” Liam pointed down to the bags and it made Theo get goosebumps.

“Is that-” Theo tried to say, but he choked up. “Is that C-”

Nope, this was his limit. He ended up throwing up in the hole he had just dug, the thought of Corey possibly being in the bags being too much. He was such a weak person. Hell had made him weak. The old Theo would’ve been like ‘ _ whatever’  _ but this Theo… he would never kill anyone ever again, probably. No,  _ definitely not.  _

“Dude, what’s your problem,” Liam said, confused.

Theo had stopped throwing up for the moment, lifting his head to call Liam out on his fucked up ideas when he noticed Liam was beginning to open one of the bags.

Nope, he wasn’t done throwing up. 

Once he had for sure emptied all the contents of his stomach, he took a deep breath and looked up slowly, not really ready- but at this point he had to be - to look at what was probably going to be a decapitated head. 

Once again, nothing would have prepared for what he saw next.

He saw pieces, human-sized black pieces of what seemed to be a statue. No, not a statue, it could be a figure. In a way it reminded him of the dread doctors, but only it was all in plastic. 

“What… what is this,” Theo narrowed his eyes, a bit breathless.

Liam opened up the other bag, letting the rest of the pieces fall to the ground, and there he found a head, but it wasn’t a human head, it was Darth Vader’s head staring right at him.

A goddamn Darth Vader life-sized figure is what Liam had “killed.”

“Mason let me borrow his Star Wars figure for English class because we had to give a presentation and I wanted to talk about alternate universes,” Liam started explaining, a bit embarrassed but still anxious. “And it went well, I got a 100, but I left it in the classroom before lacrosse practice and forgot about it until I got home. So I went running back to school at midnight, and when I got to the parking lot, I got run over by a car.”

Theo’s eyes widened at the fact that Liam had been run over but he seemed fine.

“After the hit I started to wolf out and I couldn’t calm down, I got irrationally angry. Claws, fangs, hair, eyes, all were out, so I made my way to the classroom to calm down. And I… exploded and my fury got directed towards the statue, and when I realized what I was doing it was too late, it was already in pieces.”

Theo stood there, speechless. He was taking his time to process all this information, but it just seemed so unreal, like they had thrown a bucket of cold water all over him, or like they had just told him that it was all an elaborate prank and he had been the fool who got pranked.

He started laughing, hysterically laughing at that point, and he looked like he wanted to cry or shove Liam into the hole and bury him alive. Both, actually.

“Theo, are- are you okay?” Liam asked, half confused and half scared at Theo’s sudden outburst.

“You’re asking if I’m okay? I’m fucking ecstatic, Liam!” Theo said with a grin and sarcasm clearly present in his voice. “You  _ woke me up _ , called me in the middle of the night to  _ help you hide a body _ , then made me believe you have actually killed someone! When it turns out you had only wrecked a goddamn statue! Why wouldn’t I be okay?!”

“Woah, you actually thought I killed someone? What made you-” Liam stopped talking as he suddenly realized.  _ Hide a body. Shovels. The bags. _

Well shit, now that he thought about it, he had made it seem worse than it was.

“What about the witnesses?” Theo asked, his voice still shaking a bit.

“Oh, it was Nolan. He was the one who had run me over with the car, and he got there in time to see how I shattered Mason’s Darth Vader statue into pieces. I punched him a couple of times, first for running me over, and second so he wouldn’t talk, and he said he wouldn’t. He got too scared I doubt he’ll talk to me for the next couple of days,” Liam frowned in thought at his bit harsh actions.

_ Well, that explains the blood,  _ Theo thought. Despite the fact that he was still shaking because it all seemed so unreal, part of him was relieved this hadn’t turn out to be an actual body. He still wanted to smack Liam in the head, repeatedly, because a lot of stress could’ve been avoided since the very start, but he was relieved nonetheless.

The sun was beginning to rise, and they still had two holes in the ground (one containing puke), and a bunch of scattered pieces all around from the action figure. 

“So… bury the pieces separately so no one will piece it together?” Liam asked once again after he saw that Theo was calmer.

“No one will give a fuck Liam, it’s  _ plastic _ , just shove them all into a hole,” Theo replied. Still, the words Liam used sounded really fucked up, even with context now.

Liam did as he was told, seeing that Theo was too distressed to continue working. Once he was done shoving all the pieces into both holes, he began to cover one.

“So all this time you had been thinking it was a human body, and you were still going to help me hide it either way?” Liam asked him, trying to make sense of Theo’s logic.

“Seems like I was,” Theo said. What a shame werewolves couldn’t get drunk, because he really was in need of a drink to forget this entire experience ever happened. He looked so defeated sitting on the floor, all of a sudden the dark circles under his eyes seemed more present and he looked like he had aged four years in the span of a night.

The ride to Liam’s house was quiet. They were both exhausted, both looked like shit, covered in dirt. Apparently Liam had been run over with a car, and Theo felt like one had run him over too hypothetically. 

“Can we.. can we forget this experience ever happened?” Liam said, not looking at Theo, his eyes focused on the road.

“Yup, duly noted,” Theo nodded, not looking at Liam either.

Liam thanked silently the fact that it was a Saturday, so there was no school that day. Both he and Theo managed to get in quietly to Liam’s house without waking Liam’s parents up. Liam took a shower, then let Theo take one after he had been done. 

That morning, Liam let Theo stay and sleep in his room, because after all the hell Liam had put him through (pun intended) that night, it was the least he could do. So both boys said nothing as they both lied down in opposite sides of the same bed, and fell asleep within minutes.

Later on, Liam had had to sell his TV and his Xbox to pay for a replacement for Mason’s Darth Vader figure. Neither Liam nor Theo brought up the topic of their night in the woods ever again for the rest of their lives, but at least now Liam was sure that he could count on Theo for whatever he needed, literally.

**Author's Note:**

> I would highly recommend reading it again now that you know the ending, because it is much funnier now when you know the actual context of what Liam was talking about and Theo's constant freaking out over what Liam was saying.
> 
> I needed to write something funny after the day I had, and this was just perfect to make me laugh because the misunderstandings. 
> 
> Anyways, to the SW fans, hope y'all liked the new trailer. And for everyone else too, hope you liked this fic even if it seemed a bit dark at first,  
> -Alejandra


End file.
